You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
