Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
