Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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