so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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