Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
