SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We are all done wearing pants today
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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