First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
