Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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