i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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