its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
