i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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