i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
