i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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