I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
