what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
