I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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