My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
