oh god the rape fog is back!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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