i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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