i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize