My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just found puke in my bra..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am mentally ready for anal.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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