Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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