I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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