If i come over, it means nothing
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize