She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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