ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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