please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
