nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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