i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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