I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
