He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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