What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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