everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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