is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
