Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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