quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
