the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
