I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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