i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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