You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
