He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
