What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
