Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
