i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
