I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
