Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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