I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
