is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
