I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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