How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize