I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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