i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
