Can i not drive my cunt home
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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