Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my sisters under your porch take her home
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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