great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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