And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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