girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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