Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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