So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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