if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
