I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you will always have a special place in my vag
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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