Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize